I like to think of worry as that guy that shows up and pretends he has something important to do. Most of us have met this character. Worry is very much like that. As it turns out, there are some very interesting reasons how worry becomes so important and becomes a thing we can do far too often and far too long.
Worry is the cognitive part of anxiety. Something has triggered the parts of our nervous system that keeps us safe (the limbic system), so, in the absence of fighting something or running away, we start to think. To plan. To come up with a strategy. When we do that, that the limbic system is calmed, as well as some of the other major players in the “stay safe” parts of our system. So, in a weird way, it just feels better to worry because it feels like we’re actually doing something constructive.
But we’re not. There’s a difference between doing and planning, and worry. Worry just never gets anywhere. As we actively plan for possibilities, or work out a solution, our thinking brain is doing all the heavy lifting. But worry triggers the feeling associated with those activities; as such, we manage to associate that feeling with the actual work of putting things straight. The feeling becomes greatly reinforced when we successfully resolve an issue or work out a problem with our reasoning brain. So even though he didn’t actually lift a finger, worry manages to take the credit.
It can be helpful if we begin to worry to be aware of just exactly who showed up. That guy. Remind that guy, and yourself, that he’s not really doing anything. And become aware of your reasoning skills that are doing the real work.
If worry and anxiety are a challenge for you, I think I can help. Contact me at www.totallifecounselinginc.com or 540-989-1383.
